Identity Under Construction

Screw You Drew

2010-02-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

So, I was watching T.V. the other day and wasn't finding anything of interest on. Generally, I would never watch 16 & pregnant, for the simple fact that it doesn't seem very interesting to me, but it was the only thing on, so I figured I'd watch it until a program I did enjoy came on. In this particular episode, Dr. Drew was ending out the season with an in-studio finale. I watched as he interviewed the girls individually, with their significant other, and as a group, then opened the floor for questions from the audience. The second question came from a dark haired women who inquired "I noticed that none of you breastfed. Why is that?" To which a few of the girls responded with "I breastfed for 12 days, 3 days, a week, etc.." as if that was some kind of accomplishment before they started whining and complaining like..well, 16 year old girls about how "difficult" it was. "It hurrrrrt, I was sorrrrre, my boobs got huuuuge and haaaaard, I leeeaked!" I felt both pity and annoyance at their answers. Pity that they hadn't been properly educated how to correctly breastfeed and avoid those problems, annoyance that as mothers they obviously hadn't made any effort to educate themselves in the first place.

But what sent my nerves to fraying was Dr. Drews non-chalant response to their answers. "Breastfeeding is hard, it's not what everyone makes it out to be, not as glamorous or romantic as people make it out to be." Essentially saying he didn't blame the girls for not persuing the best nutritional source for their children with something mocking sympathy. Are you kidding me? Thousands, if not millions of teens and young women watch your show and you all but discourage breastfeeding? With all the enlightening evidence for breastfeeding popping up out of the woodwork, how do you not see it appropriate to educate these children/women on the benefits and advantages of breastfeeding? How, can you as a "doctor" think that formula feeding is something to be encouraged when there are stacks and stacks of documents stating the disadvantages and risks of feeding a child hand-made poison? You have a massive sphere of influence that gives you the ability to inform and help people make positive decisions, and you didn't, you failed. Shame on you.

You had the perfect opportunity to open up a dialog on your show about the benefits, the advantages, and the misconceptions that go along with breastfeeding when that question was brought up. You brushed it off your shoulder and as a result, thousands/millions of women were either misinformed or justified for choosing to artificially feed. My sphere is not as large as yours, but I hope that with these helpful tips that I can reach a small number of those you failed, and help redirect them to the better choice.

"My boobs are hard & they hurt"
Mammory glands, the glands that create, store, and direct milk are not just in your breasts. They are also laced into the fibres of your armpits and upper chest region, sometimes reaching as high as your neck. If you've never had a child before, you've never had the presence of fluid in these areas and it is expected that they are going to experience some soreness. When your milk comes in, around 2-3 days post-birth, you will also experience some soreness and the actual breasts will become quite hard as they engorge with milk. The word engorgement is not negative, it simply means 'filled'. To ease engorgement, breastfeed on demand, or as often as necessariy to both ease some of the pressure, and to keep your supply at an adequate level. It's really that easy. Engorgement generally only lasts the first week or so as you and your baby establish a schedule and draining techniques are learned. Not breastfeeding leads to a longer period of engorgement, and the possibility of larger problems, such as clogged ducts and mastitis.
A common misconception is that heat (ie: heat pads, showers, etc..) help ease pain, and that is a idea that needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. Heat causes muscles and blood vessels to inflame, or enlarge, which is the complete opposite thing you want if your breasts are sore and engorged. Sure, it feels good, but you are actually doing more harm than good and could lead yourself to even larger and harder to deal with problems. The solution for soreness and inflamation is ICE. Cold, as opposed to heat, shrinks and soothes inflammed muscles and blood vessels. This simple tip, though not as enjoyable, will help you tremendously if you seek respite from the soreness and hardness of hard working breasts. Some other tips for easing soreness are massaging the breast in small circles while feeding or pumping, and wearing plastic/metal free bras and breast pads. Cooled cabbage leaves, applied directly to the breast are also helpful, but should be used sparingly as they can lead to a decrease in supply.

Most women can handle the engorgement phase of their new breastfeeding relationship without any intervention, but don't be ashamed if you can't. Pain is tolerated at different levels and you should not give up just because the going gets tough. Try a few of these tips and see if you can find some relief. If you are still struggling, contact a lactation consultant in your area who would be happy to give you one on one assistance in easing your discomfort and concerns. Your body and your baby both respond to stress and if you are relaxed and informed, you will experience a much more rewarding outcome.

Prevention is the key (from Medela.com):
*Begin breastfeeding as soon as possible after birth to give baby time to
learn to breastfeed before your breasts become full and firm.
*Avoid early use of botles and pacifiers while baby is learning to
breastfeed. Avoid unnecessary supplements, as this can lower milk supply.
*Breastfeed at least 8-12 times in 24 hours to prevent milk from
accumulating in the breasts. Latching on well and often is the single most
important thing you can do to avoid extreme engorgement.
*Allow baby to start and end the feeding. Don't limit baby's time at the
breast.
*Gently massage and compress the breast when your baby pauses
between sucks. This can help drain the breast, leaving less milk behind.
*Ask for help from a hospital, in-home lactation consultant, or La Leche
League Leader so that latch-on problems are solved as soon as possible.
*If you miss a feeding or if baby is not nursing well, use hand expression
or a breast pump to remove the milk.
*Always wean gradually.

"My nipples are cracked, bleeding, or painful"
Like your breasts, your nipples are new to the job and have to learn to adapt to a vivacious baby using them on a nearly constant basis. Most women experience some soreness and cracking in the first week or so, while their nipples 'toughen up' so to speak. However, a poor or improper latch can also lead to cracked, bleeding, or excruciatingly painful nipples. I'll get to that later.

So, you've started your breastfeeding relationship and your nipples are sore. Here are some tips to help soothe a sore nipple;
*Limit the nursing time on the sore nipple and offer the least sore side first. When offering the sore nipple, express a little milk by hand to stimulate let down so your baby does not have to suck quite so hard to start the process. Massage your breast while the baby nurses to stimulate the milk to flow. Always break suction by slipping your finger in the corner of babies mouth to prevent damage to the nipple.
*Creams, such as pure lanolin can provide a moisture barrier between your nipples and the outside world. Oddly enough, the lanolin keeps your nipple dry, which is essential in soothing. Creams can be used before and after nursing and don't need to be wiped off before you bring baby to the breast, as they are completely natural. It is also not necessary to 'clean' or 'disinfect' your nipples before or after nursing, as your body secretes a fluid that naturally cleans and kills bacteria on your nipple. Never wash or sanitize your nipples with soap, shampoo, or baby wipes as these can both eliminate the good bacteria, and cause your nipples to dry out and become even more sore. My favorite creams are Medela brand Lanolin, Lansinoh, and Motherlove Nipple Cream.
*Exposure to air is another good way to aide in the healing process. After each feeding, express a small amount of milk onto the nipple, rub in, and expose to the air until completely dry. If your nipples are always moist, they will not heal. Try to expose to the air when changing breast pads as well. Use a very absorbant breast pad, and change often. I strongly recommend Medela disposable and re-washable pads.

Breastfeeding is not meant to be a difficult experience or something that is forced. Being prepared beforehand is the best defense you have against encountering problems. Most women experience some soreness at first, but this usually goes away within the first week or so. If your problem persists, something needs to be fixed. Blisters, cracking, bleeding, or pain that continues during or in between feedings is not normal.
*Positioning and latch is the most common problem associated with sore nipples. My best recommendation for achieving the best education on positioning and proper latchment is to seek the help of a lactation consultant. If you birthed in a hospital, they usually have someone on staff that can be extemely helpful. If someone is not available or you have your baby outside of a hospital, a certified lactation consultant or La Leche League Leader is usually very accessible to the community and can meet with you, or talk to you over the phone to help assist in whatever way they can. You should leave the hospital with information on how to reach these individuals, but if not, they can usually be found in the phonebook or online under Breastfeeding or Lactation. You can also call you local WIC office and ask for a recommendation. It is a great idea to have these resources written down and accessible before you have your baby in case any problems should arise.
*For flat or inverted nipples, technology has developed wonderful tools to help draw out nipples for a proper latch. Don't give up on breastfeeding, just because you may have abnormal nipples. Many women are developing healthy and long-lasting breastfeeding relationships with their babies with these helpful devices. Rest assured that your breast will also become easier to latch on to over time. To begin, I recommend using Medela's SoftShells, or TheraShells to draw out the nipple, and a nipple shield when nursing.
*Maybe your baby has a condition that prevents a correct latch, such as a cleft lip or palate, or is tongue tied. Breastfeeding should not be discouraged if this is the case, as it is still possible. Seeking a lactation consultant is the best resource you have to learning how to breastfeed a baby with one of these conditions. Pumping is also a great solution when latch is just unachievable, as long as it is used along the guidelines of regular breastfeeding, meaning 8-12 times per day or as often as your growing baby needs.

There is obviously more to breastfeeding than just this, but I thought that I would bring to light some of the common issues and misconceptions that go along with it. It was not difficult for me to find and retain any of this information, and it shouldn't be for anyone else. Education is the key to success, if you don't take the time to do the research, how do you know what you are doing is best for your child? Do you rely completely on hear-say, or do you seek facts and information on your own? Do you want to raise your child on someone elses recommendation, or based on your own education? Not everyone has the opportunity to be exposed to breastfeeding and the beneficial information regarding it as easily as I do. But it is easy to find the information, if you simply look. There are hundreds of books that provide strong facts and information regarding breastfeeding as well as a never-ending cache of useful advice, tips, recommendations, facts, information, and support on the internet. Ignorance can no longer be used as a viable excuse. You owe it to your child to do the best for them, and how can you do that if you don't make the effort to seek the best information.

Dr. Drew, you had the opportunity to bring to light some of this information and you didn't and I wonder why? It is an in depth topic, and I can understand a limit on time, but a word of encouragement or a snippit of valuable information would have made a world of difference. Those of us who care about educating the public on breastfeeding now have to work even harder against the extremes because of such a slip-up on your part. You may have not given your response a second thought, but it in the minds of thousands/millions of young women, there is now confusion and doubt that you could have helped ease with just a few simple words.

I feel passionately about this subject, and want to dedicate another entry to enlightening people on the benefits and advantages of breastfeeding and expose the truth about formulas. I would also like to include some more information about other issues, such as pumping, bottle feeding, and going back to work, so I may add to this entry at a later date. Stay tuned. If you have any questions or comments or would like more information, please feel free to leave me a message or e-mail me directly, as I would be more than happy to help or direct you to someone who may be able to answer your questions more in-depth.

It's Only Natural

2010-01-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

Oh, if only the Me of 2006 could meet the Me of 2010. The Me of 2010 looks back at that earlier Me and shakes her head in pity. Such naivity, ignorance, dependence, and potential to learn. The Me of 2006 would likely roll her eyes at the present Me and proclaim "that chick is crazy." Crazy, perhaps. But I like to think of it more as educated, rescued from ignorance, and enlightened.

The Me of 2006 had just discovered she was expecting her first child and was ignorant to any information that wasn't personally handed to her. Sure, she educated herself as much as she could with the materials the Army hospital gave her, but alternative information was well outside her ability to peruse with very little internet, and only inaccurate portrayals of birth projected on the TLC channel. For heavens sakes, those women were being absolutely tortured, anyone with any common sense would demand to have an epidural while they lay unproductively on their backs, right?! So, like any uneducated woman would, I received shots during my gestation that I by no means needed, I anticipated a cervical inspection at every appointment, and I answered with the practiced response of "of course I'm getting an epidural!"

This same girl soon had 30 hours of unproductive labor because the ultra-helpful employees of Evans Community Hospital - Labor & Delivery encouraged her to lay down and rest with the assistance of Ambien until the pain was unbearable. No mention of walking, squatting, standing, pelvic exercises, weight bearing on her hands and knees, counter pressure, or massage. Of course not! For the suffering of a non-progressive labor makes for a wonderful birth experience! When finally, their pity reached its peak, they admitted her and began an induction! Pitocin [check], epidural [check], manual rupture of the bag of waters [check], un-natural counterproductive laboring on the back [check], episiotomy [check]. Nevermind the puctured nerve in her spine prior to the accurate spearing of the dural space at the hands of the anesthesiologist, but we'll get to that later. Finally, a beautiful little girl is born. Over the next two days mother and baby are rarely left alone, baby is poked and prodded, mother is constantly spread open and examined, but no one is concerned by the severe and throbbing pain radiating from the knicked nerve in her spine which she brings up to each nurse throughout rotation. Breastfeeding is encouraged, shockingly, but no material is given to this very new and still naive mother on available resources to her should she struggle (which she did) outside of the hospital. She goes home, and life truly begins.

3 months passes, and she struggles with a milk supply that has suddenly disappeared. Still greatly uneducated, she hands the torch off to the formula industry to nourish her child because of her inability to do so. The blessing of re-lactation education comes later.

15 months later, she meets the woman who would irreversibly change the couse of her life, forever. A kooky & crunchy chiropractor who taught her the true meaning of health and wellness. A true role model. In addition to the education of correct spinal health and the correlation of life as it relates to the spine, she also received valuable education on the benefits of non-vaccination, tips for a better nutritional foundation, crutial advice about breastfeeding relationships, and some pretty damning information against the Western medical model. Each day something new and life changing was discovered in that small, but cozy office, and each day she grew more and more as a person and she realized that she had a voice, she had the choice not to be lied to any more, and damnit, she was going to make a difference. She found herself becoming an alternative health model, and for once, the change felt right. .

Fast forward to today, and the first person. 3 years ago, I didn't know any of the above information. I didn't get my spine adjusted, and I was unhealthy. I took medicine when needed and administered it to my daughter when needed, and we were unhealthy. I vaccinated my daughter, and she was even more unhealthy. We ate poor food choices, including foods I "thought" were healthy, and we were unhealthy. I fed my daughter expensive formula, but she was still unhealthy. Then a change occured shortly after I started working for the eccentric red haired chiropractor. Following by example and living on faith, I threw away all our medicine and we became healthier! I limited our sugar, gluten, starch, preservatives, and processed foods and we became even more healthy! I ceased all future vaccinations of my child, and she thrived! We frequently had our spines adjusted, and our health SOARED.

Now, nearly two years later I can honestly say that neither one of us has had anything more than a rare sniffle since I decided to take back control and make a change for the better. No colds, no flus, no sinus infections, nothing! How many people can honestly, I mean honestly say that? As a pregnant woman, outside sources tried to pressure me into getting the unnecessary H1N1 vaccine and I resisted. I had seen the truthful and realistic side of the pandemic, and I knew better. I said no, and my foot stayed planted. Not only have I not even had the slightest cold this season, but I was frequently surrounded by people at work who had contracted the "illness" themselves after receiving the vaccine, or who had loved ones afflicted by it, and I continue to be even healthier than most who aren't growing a small watermelon in their abdomen. This experience itself completely solidified my newfound belief that natural is the only way to go.

Before Larry and I even started talking about bringing another child into the world, I knew that I would be going natural, and avoiding a hospital if at all possible. Upon conception of our sweet little boy, I immediately began preparing myself for a natural birth. I chose a wonderful midwife who eases my concerns and explains everthing in detail to me, something I've never received from a medical doctor. Planning a birth with her is like planning a birth with a friend. It feels right. It was at 4 months gestation that I became enraptured with the idea of a water birth. Plans for a home birth in my large garden tub quickly transpired into a birth plan, but per my midwife's advice, due to my rural location, changed to include the large jacuzzi tub in her safe and comforting birth center, rather than in my boondock home. The transition of plans was smooth, and I think it's uncommon for most women to feel satisfaction at every turn of their pregnancy as I have. For that I feel blessed, but I know that adequate education is the key to satisfaction, not luck. I know that more women could experience what I have, and find more strength and happiness if they only dedicate themselves to learning more than just what they are told and doing as much research as possible. An educated choice is the best choice.

I know that this opportunity is going to be a challenge, and that it's going to be hard. But I see it as an opportunity to become who I truly want to be, to find that person within myself that I have always strived to be. Taking the birth of my child into my own hands will both strengthen our bond, and empower me as a woman, a girlfriend, and as a mother. I can stand tall and honestly and proudly say, "I did it. Not some doctor or nurse, and not my boyfriend. I did it." I anticipate this quickly approaching date and I quiver with excitement. I did my research thoroughly, I took the fundemental classes, I practiced positions, exercises, and breathing techniques, I delved deep within my realm of influence and pulled as much education out of each person as I could, I became friends with and began working for the best lactation consultant around, I prepared myself, and I am ready. Even more than the birth, I look forward to sharing my story with others, so that they might achieve the same happiness and success that I hope to obtain.

The Me of 2006 might think I'm a little crazy, but she turned into the Me of 2010 just the same. If she had the ability to allow herself such change, then I know there are many more out there who could do the same, if just given the opportunity. Someday I hope to be to at least one woman what Dr. Susan Rivard D.C. was to me. It's by one woman at a time that we can begin to take back what is rightfully ours. Our ability to change and make our own choices. Be that woman, and I promise you, you won't regret it.

Breakthroughs

2010-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

Cambria is a bright child, and I don't say this because she's my child and I'm biased. I say this because developmentally she's always been fairly advanced for her age. I've always let her learn at her own pace with gentle nudges when needed. Before age 2, she could say her entire alphabet, sing along with numerous songs, talk in conversational sentences, and tell you the sounds of 20+ animals. Repetition was the key. On our hour long drives into town twice a day, it was easy to continuously repeat letters and animals in a controlled environment. At age 2 1/2 we tackled colors, with the use of a book each night at bed time and memory games outside our home (ie: "What color is that car?"). She learned 11 colors in 7 days. The next week we took on shapes, again with a book at bed time and memory games (ie: "What shape is the stop sign?"). She learned 8 shapes in 10 days. I was thrilled.

Between then and now, many things were learned, some directly from me, some from simple experience, some from developmental shows on T.V. I know it is often said that T.V. doesn't teach a child anything, but I believe in some cases it can be a very valuable tool in education. Cambria easily rambles off numbers in both English and Spanish, sings songs in Spanish and Japanese, and will often speak directly of something in Spanish and Japanese (ie: "Vamanos (Let's go), Abre (Open), Gracias (Thank you)") She'll often tell you all about an animal she learned about as well.

But, as much things as she was learning, her actual letters weren't really one of them. Some letters she would literally pick up out of no-where, but I hadn't yet dedicated myself to teaching her each letter of the alphabet until recently. When I began teaching her letters, she had already learned M, O, R, Q, W, and X on her own and could write M, O, Q, and W. Assuming that my previous way of teaching her would work, I began working on letter cards with her each night at bed. At first it was just repetition of the few letters I had chosen. When she couldn't tell me the letters, I tried doing memory games, such as putting an A between 4 other cards and asking her to pull out the A. Sometimes she would get it every time, but other times it was clear she was just guessing. I would then ask her to tell me the letter, and she couldn't. Over 3 weeks this began to get frustrating and last night I finally reached my breaking point. Tired of hearing "I don't know" when asked about a letter I knew without a doubt she recognised I tried to pressure her into telling me the letter. This is when I discovered, pressure works the absolute opposite way with Cambria than it should. I handed her the card, and for 30 minutes repeatedly demanded "what is this letter?". It started off nice, and by the end I was yelling at her and angry and had to leave her room. It wasn't just her unwillingness to tell me what the letter was, it was also the way she was purposfully distracting herself to avoid the question. Hanging from her bunk bed, laying down, changing the subject, not looking directly at the card. I left fuming, and she stayed in bed, upset because of my abrupt departure.

After several minutes of pacing and venting in the living room, I grabbed a piece of contruction paper and a crayon and wrote a large A at the top followed by several rows of lines. I went back to Cambria's room and apologized to her for getting mad. Fortunately she was over the whole episode and began giggling when she saw the opportunity to draw. Sitting down with her, I instructed her on how to write an A and gave her the crayon. After each successful completion of the letter, I would ask her what letter she just wrote, to which she replied without fail "A mommy". Success! And how simple it had been! After filling the paper with mostly proportional A's I grabbed a storybook and began to read to her about a lazy rooster. After reading each page, I asked her to circle one little 'a' and one big 'A'. By the end of the story, we were both much happier and were able to finish our bedtime routine in a much better mood.

This morning, when she came into our room the first thing I asked her was "What letter did you learn last night?" and was delighted once again in her response of "A mommy." Several minutes later, she brought the construction paper of the previous night to me stating "These are A's mommy, I want to write more!" Happy to oblige, I prepared another sheet for her to practice her newly learned letter. What a great way to start the day!

What I learned from this experience was profound. I discovered that a technique to teach a 2 year old something doesn't always work for a 3 year old. I discovered that getting frustrated didn't get us anywhere and that stepping back and re-evaluating the situation gave me the opportunity to come up with new ideas to try. With this new breakthrough, I can begin to handle other situations in the future in a much different manner. Discovering that Cambria isn't receptive to pressure, eliminates the likliness of future frustrations because I have already learned that it gets us absolutely no where. So if we are struggling with something and I begin to get frustrated, it's time to change the technique. I am constantly trying to develop new ways for her to learn new things, and with the addition of letters, and her obvious comprehension of writing, I see many opportunities opening up in terms of games and fun activities. I am also excited about the ease in which she should acclimate to kindergarten in a few short years with the skills and knowledge she has obtained so early in her life.